


a thing that wants

by problematiclesbian



Series: self indulgent rejanis fics [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, we love two (2) useless lesbians who cannot communicate to save their damn lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 06:11:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiclesbian/pseuds/problematiclesbian
Summary: And since Janis figures she’s already gone crazy today, she might as well finish the job, and so she edges her hand out of her jacket sleeves and flips it over, leaving her palm up and open. Her hand trembles. Regina, holding her breath, slides her hand on top of Janis’s and intertwines their fingers together.





	a thing that wants

**Author's Note:**

> give me touch starved janis or give me death  
> also like idk what this is really like 6 loosely connected times regina and janis had poor communication but it all worked out????? idk blame tara and abby not me whatever rejanis endgame

_I didn’t know there was this want in me:_

_the outline of your knuckles in the silver light,_

_your thick wrist, the swell of your forearm,_

_all the effortless heat you shed. I didn’t know_

_that the desire would break through me,_

 

_wave after wave of it, pounding and sudden._

_How I worried that you’d turn to see it, that_

_I wanted to have you pin me in the dark, to be_

_held down by you, to have all this hunger rise_

_to my surface and to have you taste it._

* * *

 

 

“Why do you do that?” Regina asks.

It’s movie night, this week at Karen’s house, and Regina and Janis are next to each other on the smaller couch.

It’s actually Regina’s attempt to gently ask a question but hey, being subtle was never her strong suit.

“What’d you mean?” Janis mumbles around a handful of popcorn, slouched against the left side of the couch.

Gretchen and Damian are in the midst of a lively debate on what movie should be picked next, and Karen and Aaron are teaching Cady how to play board games, since that’s something she missed out on in Africa, so this is as private of a conversation is they ever really have.

“Like, avoid touching me. Like just now, our elbows should’ve brushed, but you avoided it.”

Janis raises an eyebrow, though the tips of her ears go pink. “Jeez, obsessed with me, much?”

Regina scoffs. “Janis. I _invented_ insulting someone as a deflection from answering the question. You can’t use my own techniques against me.”

Janis blinks. “Does it matter?”

Regina opens her mouth, then shuts it. They both turn to watch their friends crush Cady at Twister. After a few beats of silence between them, Regina tries again.

“I just like… don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, or whatever. If you need space, just tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

When Janis doesn’t say anything, Regina continues nervously: “Or if it’s like, me, because you don’t have a problem hugging Damian or Cady or anyone else, then like. I’d rather know, and-“

“Regina.”

“And like, I know I haven’t lost all the weight from the kalteen bars and I’ve definitely looked better but like. I don’t know, I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“Regina.”

“It’s just that I see you hold hands with Cady, or braid Karen’s hair, or whatever, but you’re careful not to-“

Janis tackles Regina from the side, knocking her back onto the couch.

Luckily, the other five are hopelessly tangled up in the middle of the twister board, so no one notices.

But Regina definitely notices.

That’s probably because now, Janis is straddling her on the couch, her hands planted just above Regina’s shoulders, their bodies pressed together from chest to knee.

“Regina.” Janis says seriously, although it’s hard to focus on her words when her hair is falling around them both so that all Regina can see and smell and feel is Janis, Janis, Janis.

“Regina!” Janis says when Regina stares, without blinking, at her lips for a little too long. “Listen to me, okay?”

“Okay.” Inwardly, Regina winces when her voice comes out breathless.

“I’ve spent the last four years making sure my every move could never in any way possibly be taken as predatory or sexual. Before I became friends with Damian, I hadn’t hugged anyone for like… two years. It took Damian six months to convince me it was okay to lean on him, or let him hold my hand. I’m terrible at casual intimacy, okay? And you and I, we just became friends again, and I don’t want you to feel like I see you in a sexual way cause I’m a lesbian, so I’m just extra careful not to touch you, okay?!”

As if she’s just realized how close they are, Janis blinks, her eyes flick down to Regina’s lips, and then she abruptly sits up, attempts to clamber off Regina, then falls onto the floor.

Regina sits up, dazed, and turns to see Cady, Damian, Gretchen, Karen, and Aaron all sitting on the floor watching them.

“Oh.” Damian tosses some popcorn in his mouth. “Don’t let us interrupt you. Please continue.”

Janis tosses her boot at him. “Did you dumbasses pick a movie yet? We’ve been waiting forever!”

“Looks like you found a good way to pass the time!”

This time, Regina throws her high heel at him, and he has to duck to get out of the way.

Aaron and Cady look at each other, shrug, then sit down on the couch. Karen smiles and hands Gretchen the movie she had known they would end up watching. Damian crawls back onto the bean bag chair, holding up his popcorn bowl as a shield, lest Regina toss another shoe his way.

Janis gets back onto the couch, on her side. Regina sits, stiff and awkward, on her own side.

As the movie starts, Regina begins a slow, gradual movement from her side towards Janis. When she reaches the point that their arms are brushing, she stops.

Scarcely breathing, Janis fists her hands in her jacket sleeves and considers her options. Across the room, she can see Damian watching her with undisguised glee and no small number of thumbs ups.

Slowly, so slowly that Damian keeps holding his breath in anticipation and then exhaling loudly when he can’t hold it anymore, Janis lowers her head onto Regina’s shoulder.

Karen contains a squeal of joy, but only because Gretchen tackles her.

“WOW, I LOVE THIS MOVIE.” Cady says LOUDLY to Aaron.

“Uh, me too?” Aaron replies, confused as to why everyone is pointedly staring at the screen as if it contains the world’s secrets.  

Everyone except Regina and Janis. Regina is totally frozen as Janis settles her head against Regina’s shoulder, their sides pressed together.

And since Janis figures she’s already gone crazy today, she might as well finish the job, and so she edges her hand out of her jacket sleeves and flips it over, leaving her palm up and open. Her hand trembles. Regina, holding her breath, slides her hand on top of Janis’s and intertwines their fingers together.

Exhaling in relief, the tension drops out of Janis’s posture and she leans more heavily against Regina. Regina grins like she’s won the fucking lottery.

 

* * *

 

“Is she going into anaphylactic shock?” Cady asks.

“I think her brain overloaded.” Gretchen waves a hand in front of Regina’s glazed over face.

“She’s thinking about Janis in a bikini.” Damian supplies helpfully. He and Karen are building a structure out of popsicle sticks.

“I am not!” Regina hisses, snapping out of her trance, but the bright blush on her cheeks betrays her.

“Okay, so I’m going to count comatose Regina as a yes. Damian? Karen?” They both nod and Gretchen smiles with excitement. “Janis?”

“Yeah?” Janis strolls back in the room with the snacks piled in her arms. “What’s up, Gretch?”

“Are you good with a pool party next Saturday?”

Janis adopts a face of extreme deliberation. “A pool party? With _girls_ there? In their _swimsuits_ ?! And you want to invite _ME_?! A LESBIAN?! I mean really, Gretchen, I’m disappointed in you.”

Regina looks up, stricken. “Janis, you know I was-“

“Nah, I’m just fucking with ya.” Janis drops onto the couch. “Yeah, a pool party sounds good with me.”

Damian starts cackling at the look on Regina’s face.

*

*

She’s made a huge mistake.

The first mistake was agreeing to a pool party.

She’s _Regina George_ , yes, but she hasn’t lost all the weight from the Kalteen bars; she’s no longer at her prime and now everyone will see that. Plus, Janis will be there, in a _swimsuit_ , a thought that is so deadly, Regina has just resolved not to think about it at all.

The second, more deadly mistake Regina has made is getting Janis used to touching her.

I mean, yes, she’s happy, so happy, that Janis has become more comfortable around her. Given that it was her fault in the first place, she’s thrilled that Janis is no longer worried about casually touching her. But the flip side of that is: now Janis keeps _touching_ her.

And yes, she knows it’s entirely platonic for Janis, that’s not the issue. The issue is, Regina wishes it wasn’t platonic. And every time Janis leans against her, or idly plays with her hair, or grasps her hand while talking, it makes Regina’s damn heart race. It’s terrible and inconvenient and dumb and it just feels so good to have Janis close, it’s horrible.

These two mistakes have combined into a third, biggest of all, mistake which is this: Now they’re all at Gretchen’s house, out in the pool, and Janis is in some horrible(amazing) black bikini and board shorts and Regina is going to die, like this is it. The bus couldn’t kill her, but seeing Janis like this just might.

Regina hasn’t actually gotta into the pool yet, still in her sundress and sitting with Gretchen while they watch Damian and Janis Vs Aaron and Cady in a vicious game of chicken fight. Karen is refereeing, if you can call cheering and splashing the guys “refereeing”. Gretchen decides to get into the water too, so Regina nods and then walks off to the bathroom.

It’s not a big deal. That’s what she keeps telling herself. So she’s a size or two bigger this summer. So she’s not quite 115 anymore. No one will notice.

Regina is giving herself this pep talk in the mirror when someone knocks on the bathroom door.

“‘Gina?”

Of course it’s Janis. “Yeah, all good. I’ll be right there!”

On the other side of the door, Janis bites her lip. “You sure?”

Regina pauses.

“I don't know.”

“Can I come in?”

Regina unlocks the door and Janis slides into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Her hair is damp from the water and she’s thrown Damian’s tank top on over her swimsuit, and she looks incredible, which in Regina’s opinion, just isn’t fair.

“What’s going on?” Janis asks Regina’s reflection.

“You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“I think everything is stupid.” Janis shrugs. “So you might as well tell me.”

Regina rolls her eyes at that logic, but complies. “I just… don’t really like my body right now, so it’s hard to go out there. I mean, I know I don’t have to, but I just wish.” She glares at herself in the mirror as if that will change what she sees. “I know it’s dumb and shallow, but I just miss feeling pretty sometimes. I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

Janis looks shocked. “Regina, dude, look. I know I can’t change your mind but like…. you are so hot. Like seriously, this is the most beautiful you’ve ever been.”

“Shut up, Janis, I don’t want you to just say what I want to hear. And I know that part of it is causè I made you afraid to be a lesbian, but sometimes I feel like-” Regina pauses and blinks back tears and decides, fuck it. “if I looked better, maybe you’d want me.” The last words come out in a low whisper.

There’s a silence, just the two of them, standing inches apart in the guest bathroom

Then Janis: “Can I take off your dress?”

Out of all the sentences Regina expected to hear, that was not one of them. “What?”

Janis looks her right in the eyes. “Can I take off your dress? Yes or no?”

Regina’s heart is fucking pounding. She nods because she’s not sure she would be able to speak right now.  

Reverently, Janis takes the hem of Regina’s dress and pulls it over her head, leaving Regina in just her swimsuit. Regina resists the urge to cross her arms, her heart beating so loud that surely Janis can hear it.

“Regina,” Janis starts, “You know it’s hard for me to compliment you because I have this inner fear that you’ll be creeped out or disgusted. So I can really only say this once.”

Janis drops to her knees and brushes her lips just above Regina’s belly button, and Regina’s knees buckle. She puts one hand on the wall behind her for support, the other gripping the towel rack, as Janis stands back up, leaning forward until their lips are almost touching.

Janis’s hands slide slowly up Regina’s hips, and this is it, Regina is truly certain she’s going to die, this is the end for her, as Janis runs her fingers along the outlines of Regina’s swimsuit.

“You are.” Janis speaks low into Regina’s ear, “the most beautiful person I know, and you would be a fool to think that I don’t want you. I always wants you. I think your body,” she runs her nails down Regina’s stomach for emphasis, making the blonde shudder, “is perfect. I love touching you, I love holding you, I love being near you. Hugging you makes me feel like I’ve found a part of myself that I was missing. I am desperate to touch you, to feel you touching me, even in the most innocent of ways.”

Janis pulls her head back slowly, brushing her lips just barely over Regina’s, before exhaling slowly, and then stepping back, leaving Regina feeling cold. “And I did mean that in a gay way, just so you know.”

Regina thinks her heart may have stopped.

“Anyway, the boys wants some snacks, so I’m gonna go grab those. I’ll see you out there, okay?!” Janis grins at her, and then slides back out of the bathroom.

It takes Regina twenty minutes to recover until she can stop blushing enough to go rejoin the others.

 

* * *

 

They have, by Regina’s count, been on three official dates now, if you don’t count the dinner date where Regina asked if it was a date and Janis said “do you want it to be?”.

“I just don’t know what she’s waiting for!” Regina says as she paces in front of Damian on the porch. “I mean, it’s been three dates and I’m-“

“Horny?” Damian suggests.

Regina shoots him an icy glare. “No, I’m-“

“Desperate?”

“I will kill you.“

When Damian finishes laughing, she continues. “Like, am I doing something wrong?? I feel like we’re ready, so-“

Damian cuts in: “So why are you waiting for Janis?”

Regina looks at him blankly. “What?”

He rolls his eyes. “You _know_ how Janis is about physical contact. Why don’t you just kiss her?”

Regina is speechless. Damian pats her on the back and heads inside.

*

*

“You know I can tell when you’re staring at me, right?” Janis asks without looking away from the screen.

They’re watching a movie on Regina’s bed, which means the first 45 minutes are spent coaxing Janis closer and then into her arms while Janis pretends to be totally engrossed by the film. On a normal day, Regina finds her usually-tough-not-yet-girlfriend’s shyness endearing. But after three and a half dates, Regina has had Enough.

“Mhm.” Regina agrees without listening, without taking her eyes off Janis.

“Ooookay.” Janis reaches out and shuts the laptop, then shifts to face her not-yet-girlfriend. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Regina says in a not at all convincing tone.

“Babe, you’ve been staring at my lips for like, half an hour.”

“Can I kiss you?” Regina doesn’t mean to say it out loud, but it’s too late to take it back.

Janis freezes up. Like, turns to marble in Regina’s arms, and Regina feels her heart sink.

She starts to pull away from Janis, her eyes dropping to the ground, and Janis stops her by frantically grabbing Regina and twisting them so Janis ends up back against the pillows, with Regina hovering over her.

“Janis-”

Janis squeezes her eyes shut and speaks rapidly. “Yes, please kiss me, oh my god, I’m so gay and so nervous and we’ll go on like a hundred dates before I work up the courage to kiss you, but yes, Regina, just-”

Regina kisses her.

Regina leans down and stops Janis’s ramble by kissing her.

God dammit. Goddammit, goddamit, god damn it. She knew Regina was going to be a good kisser, she knew it, and Janis has sworn to herself that she could play it cool, but now that the moment is here, she absolutely definitely cannot play it cool, because Regina kisses her, and she feels herself fall apart.

Janis fists her hands in Regina’s shirt and kisses her back hungrily, desperately, like she’s been wanting to for months now, letting Regina press against her and deepen the kiss.

When Janis moans, just a little, she feels Regina smirk into the kiss, and in retaliation, Janis bites at Regina’s lower lip. “Shut up.” Janis mumbles, and Regina responds by sliding her hands under Janis’s shirt. Fuck. Janis can’t help it, she gasps, and that’s all the encouragement Regina needs, and fuck.

The problem is this: Janis had been trying so hard not to touch Regina that now her every touch feels magnified and electric. She’s been starved of touch for years; it’s hard to mask her hunger for it. It makes her head spin, every casual press of Regina’s hands, or a simple hug, or laying together in one of their beds. Janis is hyper-aware of the touch of Regina’s thigh against hers when they’re sitting at lunch, the brush of Regina’s hand when they walk. It doesn’t even have to be sexual- though she certainly wouldn’t mind- Janis just wants to _feel_ , to feel the sensation of her skin against another’s. It’s like a cold drink of water after 50 years in the desert, like the heat of a flame- it’s fucking magical and cathartic and lots of other words that Janis can’t really think of right now because she can’t think of anything, anything except the feeling of Regina’s lips against her own.

“Jesus Christ.” Janis gasps when Regina pulls back slowly, their bodies still pressed together.

Regina is smiling, the softest Janis has ever seen her, but there’s still a crease of worry between her eyes. “You’re trembling, Jan.”

Janis closes her eyes again as she feels her skin flush. “It’s just like- It’s- I’m not used to- When you touch me-“ She tightens her grip on Regina’s shirt while she tries to clear her head enough to give her not-girlfriend a real answer.

“I’m not used to, um, like, feeling wanted, or loved or whatever.” Janis keeps her eyes closed but she hears Regina’s soft sad noise at that statement. “I mean, Damian is great, of course, but. I don’t know.”

Regina slides her thumb along Janis’s jawline to encourage her and Janis shivers.

“Ummmm.” She’s definitely forgotten what she was saying.

“Janis.”

Janis cracks open one eye to look at Regina. She’s gazing down at Janis with a look of pure adoration.

“Oh right. Uh. I’m just not used to being touched with such care? And it’s sort of overwhelming. Like my body is on fire. But like, in a good way? Good fire?”

Regina leans down and kisses her again, so so gently, and Janis melts all over again.

“...Yeahhh. Like that? That makes me forget my name. And how to move my legs. And everything, really.” Janis flings her arm over her face. “Oh my god, I’m such a lesbian. God, this is bad. I took AP English. I can’t believe I just said ‘good fire’. Oh my god.”

Regina grins wide. “I can’t believe Janis Sarkisian is secretly a softy.” She teases.  

“How will I ever win an argument if you holding my hand turns me into a pile of mush?” Janis grumbles.

“I’m usually right, anyway.” Regina points out as she brushes her lips against Janis’s throat just to feel her shiver.

“Oh my god.” Janis threads her hands into Regina’s hair and pulls her back up to her lips.

There’s not much talking after that.

 

* * *

 

That weekend is Gretchen and Karen’s End of the Summer, Going to College Big Bash and the festivities are in full swing. College decisions have already been made and they’re all going to be near each other so the details are both irrelevant and unnecessary and that doesn’t make the author lazy, just economical, thank you very much. The point being, the party is a chance for the seven friends and all their other friends to have one last blow out before they get buried in college work.  


The party has gotten a little wild, which is normal for their parties, but kids from South Shore have started showing up, and that’s never a good sign, especially when one sets his sights on Regina.

“Hey, beautiful, want to have some fun tonight?” It’s a tall football player, with a couple of his friends flanking him.

“I’m good.” Regina doesn’t even spare this guy a second look, glancing around to see where Janis is.  

“Babe, why don’t you just give me a chance?” The guy really must be from another school, because he dares to grab onto Regina’s wrist to get her attention. She glares down and peels the guys fingers off her wrist, fixing him with her coldest stare. He cowers back a little, but his friends are behind him, so he doesn’t give up.

“Hey, bitch, no need to-”

“She said no.” Janis appears, wrapping her arm around Regina’s shoulder.

“Shut up, dyke. Who’re you?!”

“I’m her girlfriend, you asshole, who are _you_?”

“Girlfriend?” Regina squeaks.

“Asshole?!” The asshole growls.

“Oh, fuck off, dude. You never had even a hope of a thought of a chance with her.” Damian says from where he’s been watching the whole scene, making sure things don’t escalate. Regina and Janis both flip the dude off and walk away, two of Aaron’s soccer friends stepping up to stop him from following.

As soon as they’re alone again, Janis looks around nervously.

“Um, so, I’m gonna go get us drinks-”

“Janis.” Regina pulls Janis back towards her and Janis falls sheepishly into Regina’s arms.

“Okay, I know I shouldn’t have assumed you’re my girlfriend, I just thought-”

Regina cuts her off with a long, probably too deep for a public setting, kiss. “You’re mine.” She mumbles against Janis’s lips.

“Yeah? Prove it.” Janis goads, just to see that gleam in Regina’s eyes. She’s always looking for excuses to get Regina to touch her, and Regina is always happy to oblige.

Until Gretchen kicks them out of her room, Regina spends the rest of the party making sure everyone knows exactly who Janis belongs to.

 

* * *

 

It’s their second week on campus and Regina is already regretting deciding not to live with Janis.

Yeah, sure, it was too soon to live together when they’d only been dating seven months, but university rules mean Regina can’t stay over at Janis’s dorm on weekdays and she misses her girlfriend all the time. Not that she’d admit that. And it doesn’t help that Janis’s roommate, Veronica or whatever the hell her name is, is far too pretty for Regina’s liking.

The group coordinated their schedules, and they’re all in Intro to Philosophy together, but other than that, Janis’s art and english classes and Regina’s business and fashion classes don’t intersect.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Janis meets her in the quad and they get lunch together, and they spend most of their evenings together (although Damian read some articles about making new friends in college and keeps making them go to clubs and other meetups instead of letting Gretchen and Karen and Regina and Janis just hang out with each other like they’d prefer), but after a summer of seeing each other every day, it feels like not enough. But also, like, Regina George doesn’t do _clingy_ , especially when all the people she dated before Janis, she couldn’t have cared less about time spent apart. So she’s doing her best to play it cool.

Janis seems really excited about the open art studio hours on campus, and she’s already met some people she doesn’t hate, and Regina is happy for her, really. She just feels kind of pathetic in comparison, especially at night when she’s laying there and she just wants to tell Janis that she _misses_ her, misses hearing her voice and holding her hand and all that absolutely gay stupid shit.

Anyway, that’s the reason she slips up, okay? College is a lot of change, everything is weird and different, and she misses her girlfriend or whatever.

Regina’s on her way to her business class, on the phone with Janis, discussing where they’re going to go off campus this weekend, when she gets to class.

“I’ve gotta go, babe.” Regina says, trying to hide the reluctance in her tone as she reaches the lecture hall.

“Alright, good luck in there. Show those business kids who’s boss.” Janis may have a bit of a grudge against econ majors, but it’s justified. “I’ll see you tonight?”

Regina smiles, even though Janis can’t see her. “Of course.” She pushes open the door with her shoulder and wanders to a seat in the middle. “I’ll text you when I’m done. Love you.” And she hangs up the phone, dropping it into her purse at her feet.

It’s only about twenty seconds later, the professor already launching into some talk about supply and demand, when Regina realizes what she’s done.

She feels the cold rush of panic down her spine.

Regina snatches her phone out of her bag. No messages. Maybe Janis didn’t hear? God, her heart is fucking pounding.

She quickly types out some bullshit excuse about having a lot of homework and sends it to her girlfriend before turning off her phone. That’ll buy her time until tomorrow, at least.

*

*

So there she is, lying in her bed, ignoring her phone. Logically, Regina knows it’s not a big deal, but she can’t help but feel pitiful, especially when she’s not sure if Janis feels the same. Like, yeah, she’s known she’s in love with Janis for months now, but Regina wasn’t going to tell her. What if it’s too soon? What if it’s too serious for Janis?

In the back of her head, she can hear a voice that sounds suspiciously similar to Damian’s telling her that’s absolute bullshit, and that Janis has never once made Regina doubt her commitment to the relationship, but. Old insecurities die hard, she guesses.

“Uhh, Regina?” Her roommate, some blonde named Heather, knocks hesitantly on the door. Regina sits up in bed. It’s not like she was going to fall asleep any time soon.

“Yeah?”

The blonde edges the door open and sticks her head in. “Have you like… uh… looked out your window recently?”

Regina rubs her forehead. “What are you talking about?” But Heather has already shut the door. She sighs and pushes back the covers, stumbling to the window.

Oh my god.

Regina closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, then looks outside the window again.

Yup, still there.

A flailing Damian on a ladder is attempting to boost Janis up the side of the building.

Regina steels herself and opens the window.

“I live on the sixth floor, you idiots.”

Janis looks up at the sound of her voice. “Oh, hey, Regina.” She says like she’s not dangling off a second story window. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“What are you doing?!” Regina hisses, peering around to see if campus security is approaching.

“Well, you weren’t answering your phone, so…” Janis shrugs and almost loses her balance. “Shit.”

“Janis, honey, you know I love you and I love a grand romantic gesture as much as the next gay, but I do not have the upper arm strength for this!” Damian shouts from below, where he is teetering on the ladder.

“Janis, get down, oh my god!” Regina’s heart is racing because either her idiot girlfriend is going to fall and break her neck or she’s going to have to talk about what she said this afternoon.

“Will you answer your damn phone now?” Janis grunts as she tries to pull herself up by the windowsill.

“Yes, yes, fine, whatever! Just get down” Regina acquiesces in her hurry to get her girlfriend to a safer, more stable location.

“Okay, but in case I don’t make it off this ledge, I have to tell you, you hung up before I could say I-”

That’s when Damian topples off the ladder, pulling Janis down with him.

Regina’s whole heart seizes up as she looks down frantically at the bushes. There’s no movement.

“Idiots, idiots, idiots.” She mutters to herself as she pulls her robe off the closet door and grabs her keys.

“Is everything oka-”

“Yes, everything is fine, Heather!” Regina’s voice is high and tight as she dashes through the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”

She rushes into the hall and jams the down button impatiently.

When she pushes open the front doors and runs down the steps to the side of the building, she gets to the scene just as campus security does.

“-you could’ve have held out five more seconds?!”

“Janis, you know I hurt my wrist during the Spring 2014 production of Cats, and it hasn’t been the same since!”

Damian and Janis’s bickering is interrupted by the glare of of the security guard’s flashlight.

“Well, what do we have here?” He asks in an appalling southern accent, scrutinizing the pile of limbs that is Janis and Damian in the bushes.

Damian and Janis look at each other.

“We were just-” “We thought we would-”

“Practicing!” Regina jumps in. “They were practicing. Tryouts for the fall production are next week and we’re all theater majors, so…”

The security guard turns his light over to look at Regina, who puts on her most winning smile. Finally he holds up both hands. “Say no more. I’ve seen enough theater kids in my time here to know how they can be.”

“Hey!” Damian protests at the same time Janis mutters, “Bite me.”

The man swings the flash light back towards them. “Excuse me?!”

“Um, nothing!” Regina says, forcing her smile wider and ushering him away. “Anyway, I know you must be really busy, especially with that party they’re having at Hayden Hall and all that.”

“Party? What party?”

“Oh, you didn’t hear? You better go deal with that.” Regina gives him one more push and he stumbles off, mumbling darkly about theater students as he goes.

When she gets back, Damian and Janis are extracting themselves from the bushes.

“Hey.” Janis gives her that little smile that she only has for Regina, and Regina tries to ignore the way her chest gets warm at the sight of it.

“You.” Regina points at Damian. “Get out of here while I’m feeling generous enough not to rip you a new one for endangering my girlfriend like that.”

“But it was her-” Damian stops at the look on Regina’s face. “Fine. Janis, I expect to hear all the details. Call me later.” He glances between the two of them. “Or tomorrow, if you’re busy tonight.”

Regina rolls her eyes.

“And you-” She rounds on her girlfriend, who is still smiling that horribly cute smile, and who still has leaves in her damn hair. “You.. don’t scare me like that, okay?!”

“Well then, don’t say you love me and then turn off your phone!”

Regina, despite her best efforts, blushes. “Right. About that….”

Janis raises an eyebrow.

Regina tosses her hair nervously. “Uh, as much as I’d love to discuss this, it’s like, 2am, so maybe we can talk about this tomorrow?”

“So you can avoid me again? I don’t think so.”

“Well they won’t let you upstairs after 11, so..”

Janis grins and holds up one hand.

Regina grabs the key card out of her hand. “What? You got a pass to my dorm? How? Why?!”

“So we don’t have to be apart every night?” Janis scuffs the ground with her combat boot. “Is that… too much?”

Regina blinks back the sudden emotion that springs to her eyes. “No, that’s… that’s perfect, Jan.” She looks around and remembers they’re in the middle of the lawn. “Why don’t we go to my room then?”

Regina takes her girlfriend’s hand and leads her through security and up to her room. Heather tries to say something as they go past the common area, but Janis only has time to wave before Regina tugs her into her room and shuts the door.

Once inside, Regina backs Janis against the door and kisses her with an unprecedented urgency.

Janis falls into the kiss easily, allowing Regina to take control.

“‘Gina.” Janis puts one hand on her shoulder to stop her when the blonde tries to take off her shirt.

“What?” Regina mumbles against Janis’s lips.

“Not that I’m not…” Janis struggles to keep her sentence going as Regina kisses down her neck, “..enjoying this, but I think... fuck....”

After a few more seconds, just as Regina is able to get a suitable hickey on the base of Janis’s throat, Janis slides out from against the door and runs a hand through her hair, trying to gain clarity while Regina smirks at her flustered girlfriend.

“Stop trying to distract me with your feminine charms!” Janis points at a finger at her accusingly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But her smirk is too wide for that to really be believable.

“Babe..” Janis says softly, and Regina sighs and looks her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry I freaked out a little, okay?”

Janis reaches out to take Regina’s hands. “Did you mean it?”

“I…” Regina looks at her girlfriend and can’t remember why she was worried at all. “Yes. I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Janis gives her that shy smile. “There, was that so hard?” She kisses her.

“Are you gonna say it back now?” Regina grumbles.

“I love you. I love you, I’m in love with you, Regina George!” Janis shouts, and Regina laughs even as she shushes her girlfriend. She feels something settle in her heart at the confirmation, like everything is right in the world. 

Then Janis adds: “Haven’t you heard? I’ve been obsessed with you since 8th grade.”

Regina rolls her eyes hard. “God, you’re the worst.” But she’s smiling.

Janis shrugs. “You love me anyway.”

Regina kisses her instead of answering, because she really can’t argue with that.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you freak out like this since high school.” Damian muses from his seat at the Sarkisian kitchen counter.

“Shut up and help me with this.” Janis is trying to apply eyeliner but her hands are shaking too much to manage.

“Darling.” Damian takes the tube of make up and gestures for his friend to close her eyes. “You’re panicking for no reason. Regina would say yes if you threw up on her and then asked.”

“Thank you for that image.” Janis grumbles.

Damian tsks. “My point is, everything is going to be fine. You and Regina are going to have a great night, you’re going to propose, she’s going to say yes, and then you’re going to have wild engagement sex in your childhood bedroom all night long.”

“You’re the worst best friend.”

Damian pats her on the cheek once her makeup is finished. “I know you’re too nervous to recognize that I’m the best you’ll never have, so I’ll just wait for the apologetic thank you voicemail tomorrow morning.”

“What if I’m busying fleeing the country because my girlfriend said no?”

Damian rolls his eyes. “Then I’ll meet you at the border. Now, hurry up! You’re going to be late.”

Janis curses and grabs her keys and the box off the table. “How do I look?”

Damian wipes away a tear and straightens her jacket for her. “Beautiful. Regina will be speechless.”

“When have you ever known Regina George to be speechless?”

Janis’s phone lights up. They both look down.

“Oh god.” Janis whimpers.

Damian claps his hands in excitement. “Let’s go! Can’t keep your girl waiting.”

“I’m doomed.”

“And people say _I’m_ the dramatic one in this friendship...”

*

*

Janis picks Regina up from the Wiener’s mansion. Even with their busy schedules, everyone is home for Hanukkah this year.

Regina leans over the gearshift for a long kiss as a greeting. Janis pulls away, slightly breathless, and starts the car.

“How was everyone?”

“If you mean, how was Rachel, which I know you do, she was great. I’m going to get her to say my name as her first word any day now.” Regina is surprisingly good with Gretchen and Karen’s daughter.

“She’s our goddaughter! I’m allowed to ask about her!”

Regina scoffs. “But you’re not allowed to love her more than me!”

Janis grins as she stops at an intersection. “Babe, you’re jealous of a two year old.”

“I’m not jealous.” Regina protests. “I’m just saying…” She pauses when she notices where they are. “Where are we going? I thought we were meeting your mom for dinner.”

Janis’s palms start to sweat. “Oh.. she had to reschedule. I thought we could go to dinner just the two of us instead?”

Regina narrows her eyes at her girlfriend. “Why did she need to reschedule?”

“Headache.”

“Where are we going for dinner?”

“Rocco’s.”

“Then why are we taking this route?”

“It’s more scenic.”

Regina stares at her as Janis pretends to be very focused on the road.

“Pull over.”

“What? Why, we’re-“

“Janis Sarkisian, pull over this vehicle right now.”

Janis pulls the car over to the side of the road.

Regina unbuckles her seatbelt so she can turn to look fully at her girlfriend. Janis does the same, then launches into a speech:

“Okay, before you ask any questions, you _know_ I’m not very good at lying to you, so I really think we should just-“

Regina cuts her off. “Janis, look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not taking me to where we first met so you can propose.”

Janis freezes. “I’m…. uh….”

Regina opens her door, gets out of the car and slams it shut.

Janis only has a second to whisper to herself, “Oh, fuck..” before the driver’s door opens and Regina pushes Janis against the headrest so she can climb onto her lap and kiss her, dress be damned.

After about thirty seconds, at which point Janis can no longer remember which way is up or down (and isn’t it a little unfair that Regina can still have this effect on her after all these years?), Regina pulls back to look at her girlfriend properly.

“Janis, I love you so much, and I’m incredibly lucky to have you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you absolutely cannot propose to me tonight. I’ve already been planning for months. So let’s go to dinner, have sex in your childhood bedroom, and then tomorrow you are gonna pretend to be surprised when I propose, okay?”

Janis blinks. “You… what?” When the words process, she feels like she’s fucking floating. “You’re going to propose? You want to marry me?” Her voice trembles.

Regina laughs a little, even though she’s tearing up. “Of course I do.” She reaches into the pocket of her dress and pulls out a satin ring box. “And I have a really nice speech planned and everything, so you have to wait one more day. Please.”

Janis can feel the tears coming. “I… okay. Whatever you want.”

Regina wipes the tears from under Janis’s eyes, smiling. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, I can wait one more day.” Janis shrugs, her smile so wide Regina can’t help but lean forward and kiss her again, over and over. “Can I give my speech too? Damian is really proud of it.”

Regina laughs, her eyes bright. “Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Janis says, and now they’re both crying and grasping hands, and grinning, and god, all their friends are going to laugh about this later, because communication has never been their strong suit, has it?

For now, though, Janis is content to sit on the side of the road and kiss her soon to be fiance, knowing they have the rest of their lives together to work out the rest.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> fam we really are going through it huh.....  
> poem at the start is by Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz, from “November,” The Year of No Mistakes  
> title from a love letter from Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf  
>   
> I'm at likeapartywithrevenge.tumblr.com


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